Visualising

Ok I am trying to visualise 6 months from now, where most of my illnesses have melted away with my weight. which reminds me must ask how am I to take the drugs that say "with food" when I can't eat "food" after the op.
Decided to go out with the gang last night, everyone gets excited when I show up as I haven't been going out much lately. Used to party all weekend every fortnight awhile back. now I'm lucky to put in a monthly show at my favourite watering hole. I suppose they miss the funny fat girl. So many obese people do it. Build a comedy wall around them. Get the fat jokes out of the way before someone likes to point out how huge you are.
I probably could have kept on being the funny fat girl, but my "fat" has made me sick. It is sucking the life out of me. Depriving me of some wonderful times with my friends and family. I never wanted to be "My Mother" but I am turning into her, no motivation, no willpower, no hope.
I haven't told too many people about the surgery, at first a probably told people who didn't want to know lol. But as it's drawing closer I have kept this date to a half dozen close friends. Who they have told, I don't know. No one seems to be able to keep secrets in this day and age.
Ok Have made a decision, not going to put my start weight on here just yet. Yes ashamed, very ashamed. Will put how much I have lost. then when I'm feeling empowered about the weight that's dripping off I will blog a start weight.
Have my appointment with the Dietitian tomorrow, that is by phone, only have 21 optifast products so guessing I actual only go on that for a week. Mind you the new tablets that I'm taking for the diabetes are making me feel nauseous and having problems down the other end of the intestinal journey. So haven't been able to eat much at all.
I did a what I want to achieve when the weight falls off bucket list once when I was "dieting" before. Been trying to find it to post. Another blogger I read ticked off different weights for her journey (eg. weight when she was married, weight before first baby) so goal set that way. I like the idea, but also want to add a bucket list. Things that I can achieve again now that I am fitter and healthier. Like *walk a flight of stairs without stopping, *buy an item of clothing at Sportsgirl, Will do up a list before surgery.
Getting really nervous about this superannuation, they said to ring them back this week. Also I had to prove that I had the difference in my bank account. (Super falls short $2000) Which I'm still waiting on my tax return for half of that. Cutting everything so close. DHS (who took over from APRA, last December) said that if there was any problems with the paperwork then I'd be looking at  another 17 days. Since the surgery is on the 13th February, I would have to reorganise everything. Surgeon is going away for the second half of Feb so I wouldn't get another date till early March :(
Oh had a new hair do, posted a picture on facebook, from the boobs up (as always) have had over 20 likes and another 20 comments about how great I look. Wonder if I had posted the full body picture I took at the same time I would get so many comments??