Friday 13 April 2012

Binge Demon v. Me

Ever been doing so well but you trip up at the finish line(end of the week in this scenario ). I have just concluded a 28 hour binge session. This included pizza, nacho's, milkshakes, biscuits, toast with butter(my arch enemy), cheezels, jelly beans and crunchies. I have my shame hat on. :(
Was I hungry? I doubt it, my lack of decent fluid intake would have confused my inner workings that I was. the fact that after I stuffed the seventh piece of pizza in my mouth and then spewed up half of it as my stomach was so full should have been a sign. Would you belief an hour later I ate the last piece of pizza in the box as I couldn't bare to throw it out and it wasn't worth saving in the fridge. I tried to justify my actions by the fact it was a healthy-ish pizza with feta cheese and real tomatoes. But who am I kidding 1245 Calories for that whole pizza, and it didn't stop there.
Do I feel sick and ashamed now... YES... Did I make up 100 lame excuses in my mind why it happened ... YES. Do I need to reflect on why I let myself down?.... Ok I paused on this one (good 10 minutes with writers block here) I think the answer to this one is I need to allow myself to reflect on the why's but in the same turn move on and don't let falling flat on my face allow me back into the hole I crawled out of. Binge demon be gone...........

Been reading a wonderful, heartfelt and eye opening blog about one women's weight loss journey. It's amazing how we can see ourselves in other peoples stories.  Every  time I read a blog (been reading a month a night) I think oh I so want to blog about that myself. Then now as I sit down and finally work on my blog I forget most of these wonderful conversations I was going to have..... o.0


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